And in the End

I`m bone tired and weary the old man said,
And thoughts of death often run through my head.
My body betrays me yet more every day
I am ready to let the Lord or his friend take me away.

My wife is gone now, I'm alone with my vitriol,
After sixty years she loathed even letting me sit by her.
Jealousy, petty anger, bitterness, hurt and pain
Welled up... but I kept on hurting her right 'til the end.

Each breath was a torture, her last days filled with pain
But I would not let her go without having my final say.
It ended without a single word left between us,
But I had my say, there was nothing left to discuss.

Sometimes I think in my own wretched mind
That my actions were wrong, maybe I was too unkind.
But I am entitled to that, why the hell should I care?
I can still sit alone with my TV's, and just stare.

My daughter, that useless excuse of a person,
Who cares that she lives with poverty and persecution?
It's her fault, her choices, so why should I care?
After all, she got all the attention, even my share!

And the poem that she wrote
Started from my own little quote
A bigger man would likely have responded with accolades and praise
But when I see it I can feel my own hackles start to raise!

So here it is now, revised and rewritten,
Go ahead tell your story, even though I feel smitten!
At one time, a long, long, miserable lifetime ago,
These words might have mattered, maybe even touched my soul...

And maybe in some twisted, distorted kind of way

I do care at some level, just what she might say.

But what does it matter at this point in time?

So go ahead! Read it! At least she can rhyme...

Memories of good times from so long ago
My life's journey lead me places I never could have known.
A young man then, with a body so fine
Yes, sometimes I do wish I could turn back the time...

Reminders from back when my world was so young
My life was like a song that had yet to be sung,
The years marched on past, unrelenting and new
And with each passing year my experiences grew.

I learned of all manner of wondrous things
I remember so well when I bought my wife`s rings
Our commitment remained through the good and the bad
So many times though, I didn`t appreciate what I had.

Back then I returned from a war torn world
To the beauty who captured my heart with a twirl
That magic night, at a dance in Moose Jaw
When I first met my wife, how she made my heart soar!

Those wonderful years flew so rapidly past
Sometimes it was hard to tell one from the last
Two beautiful daughters the Lord sent to us
To cherish, and love, and teach how to trust.

From tiny wee babes then to full-grown women
Each choosing their own paths to lead them to Heaven
More different than same, each unique in their ways
Each had their own place in my life, through all of their days.

Four score have passed like leaves blown on the wind
My life I`ve lived righteously and rarely have sinned
Three score my wife and my own life entwined
The vows that we made once, forever will bind.

Heartbreak and triumph, sadness and glory
All played their parts as we`ve lived out our story
Now my bones ache, and my body grows weak
And soon I will find the release that I so badly seek.

For those few left behind who remember me still
This story I leave to them with the hope to instill

Undying love for their children and others who care...

All those things that were just too hard for me to share.

Revised Thursday, May 4, 2006

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